5 Stages of Excessive Bourbon Consumption

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How much bourbon is too much bourbon? When you find yourself cycling through these five stages, you know you've been excessive. 

Denial

“I’m just going to have one drink” Famous last words. Alternately “Well, I’m mixing it with coke, so I really haven’t had that much.” You’ve had seven bourbon and diets. I’m pretty sure that’s a lot of the brown stuff.

Anger

“What do you mean, you don’t have Four Roses Single Barrel?” This is Louisville, and if you live here you’re probably picky about your Bourbon. Kentucky Gentleman? Are you kidding me?

Bargaining

“If you’ll drive me home this time I swear I’ll DD next time.” Or if you’ve had a great deal too much: “I’ll take back our breakup if you come pick me up.”

Depression

There’s nothing as terrible as the hangover you get from an excess of old fashioned or lord forbid, mint juleps. For some reason whenever I drink Bourbon I end up explaining to someone that “BOURBON IS CORN AND CORN IS GOOD FOR YOU.” Spoiler alert. Bourbon is not a vegetable. No vegetable makes you feel like this.

Acceptance

Well how else would we spend a Saturday night in Louisville? Drinking gin? Don’t make me laugh. Pass the Pappy. 

cover: shutterstock/gifs: giphy.com

About Elizabeth Myers
Big fan of bacon and bourbon, deep fried anything, sweet tea and sweet nothings.
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