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They say God works in mysterious ways. Monday wasn't a night for subtelty as a lightning strike turned Big Butter Jesus into toast.

Ladies and gentlemen, I know it's not in Louisville, but most of us have had cause to drive north on I-75. My drive won't be the same without the grimacing face of what I affectionately called Zombie Jesus as he clawed all the way through the earth after being buried in China.

There are some of you who say no, no, that Jesus wasn't a zombie! He'd dropped his cross and raised his arms to catch a touchdown. Still others say passing by the oddly yellowed and highly flamable plastic foam and fiberglass statue made them think of butter sculptures from the state fair. Mmm...deliciously spreadable salvation. Wait - you didn't think that was marble, did you? A fifty foot tall statue of any stone would've cost the Solid Rock Church of Ohio a lot more than the quarter million they spent ensuring all passing drivers broke into spontanious prayer.

"Eh, nothing but country music on the dial. I wish my iPhone could stream Pandora while I check my text messages. Man this is a boring drive full of...JESUS CHRIST!"

Last night's Act of God put an end to that kind of tragic wreck by transforming the statue into the biggest Burning Man tribute this side of the Mississippi. I expect it'll take a lot more than 3 days for them to resurrect this statue. You can see footage of the flames here.

 

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About ChrisRachael Oseland

You're welcome to stalk my 22 First Dates and other random shenanigans on my personal blog. <BR> www.oseland.com

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