Friday evening was one that I'd like to be able to remember just a bit more of, but after drinking an entire fifth between just my brother and I, as well as a few lukewarm beers, much of the night is out the window, or somewhere in the crapper. All weekend I've been keeping a count and jotting down notes in hopes to document and characterize each and every mullet that I come in contact with so that I can later categorize each one diligently.
The camera on my blackberry is a royal piece of Sh!t, so I rightfully can't show you the photos of all of my findings, but if you read just a bit further, the descriptions of each are all there. The first, and my close favorite of all the mullet family is the "Kentucky Waterfall." This is the ultimate in hair-styling excellence. Classic business in the front look that then transitions gracefully into a party in the back waterfall, Kentucky style. Usually accompanied by a little Free Bird shirt, conviction record, beaten wife, and at least four, but no more than nine teeth.
The next mullet I saw was the infamous "Tennessee Top Hat." This is a rowdy, and long underrated hair style that truly exudes power, respect, and most importantly, dignity. This hair cut has a plethora on the top, much like the shape of a top hat, and long flowing locks in the back. Some seem to believe that there is a magnet in the top hat portion of it used to pick up womb, but the few I saw yesterday weren't getting any of that.
The "Camaro Crash Helmet" is also another great hair style. This is the combination of two of the worst haircuts imaginable, and quite possibly the worst mullet style of all. The bowl hair cut, where one puts a bowl over the head and cuts around it leaving an amusing mushroom shaped haircut, mixed with a mullet. This is a true rarity, but I was able to find one in the wild HullabaLOU terrain yesterday while I, myself was crushing budweisers and gin and tonics.
Last, but certainly not least, I caught a glimpse of the one, the only, "Skullet." This is a haircut reserved for the oldest and wisest of mullets. When a mullet begins to go bald this is no great problem as little attention is given to the hair on top of the head anyway, so it can be left to bald whilst being more than made up for by the long hair at the back.
Be sure to check back in with me tomorrow for more on my HullabaLOU mullet count. Surely, I will come in contact with several more specimens to amuse you with.
Photo courtesy of Damian Gerlach
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