Broke in Nulu, Stranded on the Sherman...the 5 Worst Places to be in Louisville

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1. In NuLu with a limited budget

Your friends want to go to Garage Bar, but when you open up your clutch, a moth flies out with your last dime. Is hanging out at a super trendy bar or restaurant worth being sober all night? Sometimes you just can’t pay $15 a pop for cocktails made with kiwi tears and rare gin infused with locally grown juniper. You could kill yourself with $50 worth of alcohol on Bardstown Road, but in Nulu? $50 might get you buzzed. 

2. On the Sherman Minton Bridge 

Remember Shermageddon? In late 2011 a construction crew found cracks in the main load-bearing element of the Sherman Minton Bridge. The Sherman Minton remained closed until February of 2012 and there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth. Every you get stuck on the Sherman Minton, you think about those cracks. If the wind blows just the right way and enough semi trucks are thundering over to Indiana, will the whole thing collapse like so many matchsticks?

3. In the bathroom at Magbar

The bathrooms at Magbar  in Old Louisville make the port-a-potties at Forecastle look like a suite at 21C. Man or woman, you’re better off sneaking into an alleyway to do your business. When Magbar gets crowded the floors of the bathrooms get stickier than a toddler’s face on Halloween, and not with candy.

4. In line at the liquor store waiting for Pappy Van Winkle

You know the heartbreak is coming. You can feel it. They can’t possible have enough bottles to cover all these people. What makes it worse is the gloating anticipation of those jerks at the front of the line.

5. At the Forever 21 in St. Matthews Mall

The minute you step through the doors of Forever 21 (to be greeted by someone with an asymmetrical haircut invariably wearing skinny jeans) you’re overwhelmed with cloying perfume, pulsing music, and racks upon racks of disorganized, helter-skelter clothing half hung up and folded and scrambled. You go into Forever 21 looking for sandals and come out with an American flag crop top, fringed rain boots and a necklace with a pelican on it—and you will have no memory of finding those things.

Article image courtesy of shutterstock/gif images courtesy of giphy.com

About Elizabeth Myers
Big fan of bacon and bourbon, deep fried anything, sweet tea and sweet nothings.
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