Area universities have been in the sports news in recent years and for good reason. Kentucky winning the 2012 NCAA men's Basketball championship, only to be followed by Louisville's championship in 2013; Western Kentucky suprising many in basketball and football and preparing for Bobby Petrino, the Cards football team winning the Sugar Bowl, Bellarmine winning the NCAA Division II men's basketball championship a couple years ago and remaining strong competitors under coach Scotty Davenport and that's just scratching the surface.
All of these schools do have one thing in common though outside of being in the area, and that is logical mascots; a Wildcat, a Cardinal, a Knight, a Hoosier, and so on, all these mascots make sense in regards to location and school. Furthermore the mascots are good representatives of the school.
Sadly, not all universities can say this. Last summer in response to the Bats' Buddy Bat, I took a look at bad minor league mascots, well, it's become very clear to me (and has been for some time) that minor league baseball is not the only division of sport with ridiculous mascots.
As such, I thought it only right to take a look at some of the "interesting" mascots within the NCAA.
I would like to introduce you to Peter the Anteater from the University of Irvine, he thinks he's awesome. Look at him there with that smirk er- um- all right I'm just assuming he's smirking, I'm not convinced he has a mouth. Admittedly an Ant Eater is a difficult mascot to create from the get go, but Ol' Pete here seems like he's not even trying I mean, this guy looks like one of those bad costumes you get around Halloween from some cart.
I'm sure that some people think I'm making this guy up, surely this is some hoax I'm perpetrating. Ladies and gentlemen, I wish it was but sadly this guy is Speedy the Geoduck from Evergreen State, I don't know what a geoduck is, but I believe Evergreen State's mascot is some sort of mutated Christmas tree. Ah-- I got to stop looking at it, and why does it have human arms and legs-- can't look away...
Hey, it's Scottsdale Community College's Artie the Artichoke. Nothing is tougher than an artichoke, oh wait I mean everything is tougher than an artichoke. Unless you boil that sucker in margarine then let it sit out for too long; now that's tough!
From the University of California- Santa Cruz comes Sammy the Banana Slug- just look at that mutated alien insect. I don't know what he's thinking about but I'm pretty sure it involves some sort of Slug influenced global takeover- quick somebody grab the salt!
Delta State's mascot is the Fighting Okra-- well, I guess if any vegetable would be angry to fight it would be okra. Nobody likes the stuff, even that kid isn't thrilled to be there, just look at him, he indicating he's pretty much done with the overgrown food, regardless of how many antioxidants it might have.
Were not out of the garden yet, because from Concordia College comes Kernal the Cobber! Be afraid ladies and gentleman, this guy is unpredictable you have no idea what kind of crazy chemicals had to be dumped on this mutant to make him this huge! He's a six foot tall ear of corn with eyes, a mouth, and tassles were talking more than Miracle Grow here folks.
Look out, it's Wittier College's Poet! He's gonna take a quill pen and jam it in your eye and then write a haiku about it! This is the real mascot of Wittier College, there the fighting poets; fighting metaphors every day!
From Youngstown State comes the Penguins- oh how happy they are. And yet, I don't trust 'em, they're up to no good we got some kind of crazy scientist making mutant penguins in Ohio here.
The University of Texas at Dallas doesn't't have a mascot, they have a deranged lunatic in workout gear from the 1980's.
In conclusion, I believe we can all come together regardless of who you pull for and be thankful that none of these amazing artistic expressions represent your college.
Cover image courtesy of NPR
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