A friend of mine, who takes some classes at Indiana University Southeast, got a funny voicemail and email from the school during yesterday afternoon's tornado warning. Most of the alert was fine, informing students to "take cover immediately on the lowest level of your building away from windows!" (Yeah, without that exclamation point I wouldn't have taken it seriously either.) As for the end of the automated message, well:

"If you cannot reach a building, seek shelter immediately in a ditch or ravine. Please remain calm. Thank you." 

I'm sure this is proper protocol and all, but can you really picture somebody standing out in the pouring rain, checking his voicemail, then leaping into a ditch as a tornado screams toward him? All while remaining calm? How many ravines are on IUS' campus anyway? 

By the way: If you use Louisville.com for your weather- and safety-related notices — or if you never received a follow-up from IUS — it's OK to come out of that ditch now.