Louisville's Hipster Handbook. According to Yelp reviewers.

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Last week as I was writing the Yelpers' Guide to Germantown, I came across the word about a billion times. Hipster.

What the heck makes one a hipster anyway? Seems like everybody's got their own slightly different definition of the word these days. If you want to be a hipster, should you drink PBR or pricey craft beers? Should you shop at thrift stores or Urban Outfitters? Are moustaches too mainstream now? Who knows anymore.

Well, don't worry because Yelpers have got all the insight you need to understand how to really be a hipster in Louisville.

1. Maybe redecorate your dwelling. In his review of Java Brewing Company, Keegan B. said "the bare concrete floors mixing with the art work coveted walls and reclaimed or worn furniture give it a hipster chic feel."

2. Dance around in public. But don't buy any food. J S. tells this story about his sighting at Spinelli's: "there was some stupid hipster kid dancing around like he was at a rave. The owner, or at least a manager, was sitting at the table next to me and never kicked this kid out. I did not see this kid by one slice or one drink and I was there for an hour."

3. For God's sake, don't be friendly. According to Jessica B. the hipsters at Cafe 360 aren't: "People talk about hipsters here in Chicago but in Louisville? There is a distinct air of better-than-you at this place."

4. You still don't understand hipster fashion? That's okay, because John S. lays out the rules in his review of Cahoots: "If you're a hipster, Cahoots is an easy bar to get laid in. A lot of decent looking brunettes with bad tattoos, Bettie Page hair, and black horn rimmed glasses hang out here. The guys are the type who wear skin tight women's jeans and hemp shoes. Your average jock could win a fight against a gang of ten guys in Cahoots."

5. Amy G., an Equus and Jack's Lounge patron advises growing a moustache, putting on some tight jeans and ordering a Manhattan: "Most people a year ago would never think of ordering a Manhattan until a hipster in tight rolled up jeans with a mustache was serving it to you telling you how awesome you are and how EVERYONE in New York drinks it."

6. Go ahead. Whine about the selection in the juke box. Eve G. says so in her review of The Back Door: "This is a bar's bar. Not stuffy, or pretentious, nor seething with hipster doofus scenesters whining about the juke selection."

7. Go the the Mag Bar on Wednesday nights. According to Elise H., "Mag Bar has definitely become the place for all hipsters to go every Wednesday night."

8. J S., a diner at Papalino's says you should share one slice of pizza with an entire room of fellow hipsters: "...it's worth sitting in a room full of hipster goobs sharing 1 piece of pizza, in order to share in the starchy cheesy goodness."

The last two come from reviews of the Nachbar. The word "hipster" appeared in about 85% of their reviews so picking the best was tough.

9. Jess H. shares her insights into hipster fashion. All kinds of hipster fasion: "And yes, it is totally hipster of every variety.  Old man, ex member of an obscure hard core band hipster; young hipsters wearing Forever 21 and hoping to bang their way up the social ladder; hippie hipsters (hippie-sters?) who unironically talk about astrology and communal living while wearing a $500 pair of boots; local farmers; local shop owners; artists, musicians, writers - freakin' hipsters all of them. "

10. Spend too much time contemplating the definition of a hipster. Like Michael P. (or, uh, perhaps yours truly): "Ugh, "hipster" is now an ambience choice on Yelp? That's annoying. When did everyone become so obsessed with describing things as "hipster"? And can anyone define it without resorting to a cute coffee table book for, ironically, "hipper" living rooms? And since we're talking about the irony of the self-denying ironic "hipster" crowd, is that meta-ironic? Woof, my head hurts."

Photo by Flickr user Idealisms.

About Amy Talbott
Piscean. INFJ. Cat person. Runner. Mediocre housekeeper. Excellent cook. Scours the sleaze on Craigslist so you don't have to.
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