My ridiculous list of 21 things you probably won't see at Breeders' Cup [Breeders' Cup]

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I don't really have much to say about the Breeder's Cup this year. I can't say I'd have much to say about it any year. That means that anything I write is bound to come off as ridiculous and/or forced. So, I might as well go all out.  Here's a ridiculous list of 21 things you probably won't see at the Breeder's Cup this year:



Cockfighting..because it's illegal.

Snoop Dogg…because he's bizzle for rizzle.

Geeks… The Kentucky Museum of Arts and Crafts is hosting an exhibit of games, toys, comics, trains, and other memorabilia

PETA members at the betting windows.

The gays..cause it's for breeders…Duh.

People preparing for the zombie apocalypse -because of a forest survival skills workshop


Smurfs..because they're boycotting.

Gargamel..because  there are no smurfs.

Mister Ed…because he was actually euthanized in 1970

Water historians…the Frazier  International  History museum  is offering a workshop to learn about the 150 year history of the Louiville water company.

Hippophobes - google it up.

Storm Troopers…because they're out of season.

Tweens - They're too busy shopping for the perfect thing to wear to the Justin Bieber concert.

Partridge Family idol David Cassidy - he was arrested for drunk driving last night.

This guy: because he's too busy being a badass…way to squash crime!


Bikini's in the infield…it's November.

Hair band groupies..they'll be too busy getting ready to try to win Bret Michaels passes that night

Snoopy - NO DOGS ALLOWED.

Edgar Allen Poe…because he's dead.

Carnies.. .because..it's reallly just a whole 'nother scene, isn't it?

Me, but I still had to write this article.

 

Now, list something you think most probably won't be seen at Breeders' Cup for a chance to win: my respect. 

Bonus chance to win my respect: Guess which word I added to this article to surpass the word count threshhold and get paid twice as much. 

About Jessica Lynn
Jessica Lynn has been writing for Louisville.com since fall of 2010 and has also been published in LEO, Velocity, Voice-Tribune and others after serving as Editor in Chief of The JCC student newspaper, The Quadrangle. She has also served as columnist or contributing writer to an array of online publications.
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