My favorite sweater was recently stolen. Pilfered. Kidnapped. Yes, that’s what happened here. My favorite sweater was kidnapped. I can use the word “kidnapped” because I personified this favorite sweater – I called it “Grandpa”.
This is an apt name for him – this inanimate item of seasonal knit clothing. This was the best sweater anyone ever owned. None of you have anything in your closet more cozy, cuddly, or outlandishly-over-sized than Grandpa. Grandpa swaddles you. Your hands are non-functional in the elephant trunk sleeves. The knit could withstand glacier ice – that’s because it’s stitched with Love, people. And the pockets are definitely big enough for at least two bags of Werther’s Originals (essential).
By George – Grandpa is big enough to be a dress if I button him up! That’s so nifty!
And, so, I’m kind of suffering, here. There’s a lot of tender and fragile emotion at work in my gooey center of Self. Grandpa is just the best. I wear him all the time. I look ridiculous (I’m what is called “petite”). Seriously, kiddos – who doesn’t want to be wrapped in hugs all day?
No one. Definitely not the person who is holding him hostage. Hug-stealer.
Before I articulate gruesome and overwrought plans for revenge that possibly border on obsessive and maniacal, let’s cut a snippet from the jungle I’ve written for you so far and tie it in nicely with a Holiday-oriented family storytime event this weekend at the library (Specifics: Let It Snow! storytime at the Main branch).
Do you remember the phrase “glacier ice”? I mentioned it. I mentioned that Grandpa can withstand that kind of polar attack (remember: Best Sweater Ever. Stitched with Love.). Grandpa is a superhero of sustained warmth for tiny people. It’s December, a month that brings forth to the collective human psyche images of fires glowing against the blue and quiet chill of falling snow. Many things are glittering and delicate in this word picture by the hearth. Things tend to be spicy and rich, too: cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, ginger are all evoking the warm-belly-rub-feeling deep down in your primordial Holiday Spirit. How lovely. This is the kind of picturesque moment where Grandpa does his finest Snuggle work.
You may have noticed, though: it’s not cold. Not really. It is cold-ER. It’s certainly not the passionate blow torch of August. But 60 degrees does not a White Christmas make. The Bluegrass really isn’t terribly blue with frost and fog-breath. The weather is – quite frankly – bestowing a whole mess of temperate Bah Humbug on my charming scene-painting. Grandpa really isn’t needed.
But that doesn’t mean we cannot enjoy the perfection of winter wonderland confection this year. Not as long as we have that most perfect community imaginarium at our service. It has pillars, too. And majestic lions.
Bring those snow-depraved little ones to – yes, sir – the Louisville Free Public Library  this Saturday, December 22nd, for Let It Snow! storytime . Starting at 2pm, no matter the forecast, the Main branch will host a family-friendly story session focused on those perfect feathery flakes. Listen to snow stories, sing-a-long with winter-themed songs and create an edible and delectable snow creature.
It may not be sledding weather out and about – actually, that may not be a thing for this generation of youngsters – but chilly cheer is on hand for a small Holiday pick-me-up before the big hullabaloo.
And if you happen to see Grandpa, give him a hug from me. It will be all kinds of knitted-and-cushiony-marshmallow-vanilla-pipe-pillow-warmth. You won’t regret it.
The Louisville Free Public Library’s Main branch is located at 301 York Street.
Image: Courtesy of Photobucket www.photobucket.com