This week, in Louisville, on Craigslist...
$75,000 to anyone who can "prove that the Askenazi (European) Jews are the true children of ancient Israel. "
A guy who's "into shit like turnstile and more metally stuff like harms way " wants to start a hardcore bad. He plays bass, yo.
A "couple wants lady for fun times. "
The guy who got gas at the Goss Avenue Kroger fuel station  still seeks his older man in the white car.
Man risks a broken arm to find woman with nipple piercings  that he met at The Godfather.
$229,900 buys you some "eye popping WOW factor !! " "This pretty approx ONE ACRE LOT is truly park like, and you are close to lovely CRYSTAL LAKE - a great place to take a walk !"
An engineer seeks an "adorable young girl friend. " The lucky lady gets free rent. "Age not big deal to me it your heart is more interested I am in. I guess the younger the better:)," says this gentleman. "LOL if you look hot in a string bikini you can move".
Topless and nude staff needed for monthly parties with "A-list crowd and millionaire guests. "
"ATTENTION COLLEGE STUDENTS MAKE MORE MONEY THEN YOUR PROF!! !" Be a marketing manager for some sort of vaguely fitness-related scheme. "$1000-$2000/week+additional bonuses."
And finally, fear not. "*The Future of Blogging is here** ". "Our blogging platform will blow away Wordpress, Blogger, Tumblr and all the other platforms out there with its functionality. Over $3M in development costs and one year in creation..."