My wife, our common-law sister-in-law, my Heine Brothers travel mug with Maker's Mark on the rocks and I headed down the block to watch guests arrive at the Barnstable Brown Gala--my first chance to check out the wonder that is Derby's most famous party. And wonder is right--it was a white trash wonderland. Celebrity guests I didn't recognize pulled up onto the red carpet for interviews before having to walk through a craptacular gauntlet toward the house.