My wife hit the nine-month mark in her pregnancy earlier this week. So here is some insight into spring training for parenthood (from an admittedly bad source).

• A guy's biological usefulness ends at insemination; keep that in mind when you realize you're not getting as much attention as you're used to.
• While watching your wife get an ultrasound, compliment her on her cervix.
• A fun way to kill time in a Kentucky OB/GYN office's waiting room is to look for mothers sitting with their teenage daughters and guess which one is pregnant.