Over the past few years I’ve noticed a disturbing trend in the city of Louisville, an obsession and celebration of zombie and the subsequent zombie culture. The reason this concerns me is because it appears that many are not aware of the real issues that zombies create in our current society.
I believe it is clear that the current celebration, for lack of a better word, of these undead brain eaters will certainly lead to our collective eventual demise.
Because of that, I can not endorse Saturday’s first annual Zombie hike.
As many prepare for Halloween it seems the work of individuals like George A. Romero and Kentucky’s own John Carpenter are becoming more and more prevalent. Ladies and gentleman, these are not cinematic horror fun, but rather cautionary tales. It’s only a matter of time before these so called hiking zombies make their way to any/all area malls.
So, please avoid the Jefferson Memorial Forest between the hours of seven to eleven p.m. on Saturday, unless you are a trained zombie wrangling professional, when, these zombies will surely be hiking through the forest and seeking sustenance from human passer-bys.
After their “meals” their plan is to gather together for s’mores (dessert from the brains), a campfire, and a viewing of the film, The Night of the Living Dead. Without question, the purpose of this is to view their strategies- think of game tape for a football team.
The “event organizers” claim that parking is merely five dollars, and s’more kits are available for three dollars. However, when is the last time zombies have only asked you for a five spot? For that matter, when’s the last time zombies have ever asked you for anything? They just kind of grunt and hit you with a big rock or something.
I have been instructed that you can actually get in touch with the so called “just regular people acting like zombies” at 502-368-5404.
Be afraid, be very afraid.
Ominous Image courtesy of Elated