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    Dear Lou,

    I live in Old Louisville, next door to some rowdy students. I have no problem with some college fun, but I can only listen to so many Zedd remixes in a week and the smell of stale Natty Ice is starting to cling to my clothes. How can I deal with this without being the typical "Get off my lawn!" old man next door?

    Sincerely,

    The Neighborhood Killjoy


     

    Dear The Neighborhood Killjoy,

    Being the uncool old man next door isn’t ideal for anyone, but I understand the concern at your age.  You’ve been there, done that, and grew out of it. However, that’s exactly what you should keep in mind, you’ve been there. Being a college student only happens once. It’s a small window of time where the body and mind can handle consecutive nights of shotgunning shitty beer, blasting music, and staying up until 4 AM. I say let them be students, but if the fun is too extreme, attacking them in a subtle way is your go to. Show them you can get down. Buy them some craft beer, bring over some “cool” records, and tell them your college stories. Make them trust you.  Help them to improve their booze and musical tastes. Who knows you might just end up being the cool old dude next door.

    But if they’re non-receptive to your tactics, claim your'e the Dean’s brother.


    -Lou

     

    Do you need advice from Lou? Please write Lou at dearlou502@gmail.com. ​

     

    Illustration by Kendall Regan 

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    About Katie Molck

    Loretta Lynn is the best country music singer of all time and if you don't like pickled foods, you can leave.

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