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    We’ve all experienced it – the heart-clenching shock of seeing your ex out at a bar with their new beau. The frantic moment when you look around for somewhere to hide, immediately followed by a need to pull yourself together and act aloof, sane and in-control. It’s pretty much the worst part about dating in Louisville.

    The thing about the ‘Ville is that it’s a big enough city that you can meet new people, go to new places and discover new things… But small enough that all of those experiences may be tainted with the ghosts of your past.

    You always know someone in common

    Say you meet a new guy and you’re really into him. That’s great. However, the chances of you not knowing someone in common is slim to none, unless he’s new to town. Even then, the odds may not be in your favor.

    Through work, high school, college, your social circle, your neighbors and that barista down the street that you’ve kind of made friends with, there are infinite avenues through which you guys are connected. It’s like playing 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon, but with Potential Boyfriend. In most cases, your degrees of separation won’t interfere with your newly blossoming love. Just hope he’s only friends with that guy who used to kick your chair in chemistry class, and not that guy who told his entire fraternity about how he hooked up with you in his dorm room sophomore year.

    All of your favorite spots are danger zones

    When you date someone for an extended period of time, all of his favorite spots become her favorite spots and all of her favorite spots become his favorite spots. Lives mesh together until you can’t remember a time when you went to that Taco Bell by yourself, or why you would ever go to that bar without your boo.  Short of a custody battle of who gets to hang out where, you’re just going to have to risk running into your ex when you go out. Best case scenario, you end amicably and drink beer from different sides of the bar while deliberately avoiding eye contact but also trying to see who your ex is with.

    All of the cool new spots are danger zones

    You and your ex got together for a reason and it likely involved you guys being interested in the same things. Unfortunately for you, all the cool new things that you’re interested in are also things that your ex is probably going to be interested in. You’ll either have to take the risk or wait a few weeks for the hype to die down… unless that’s what they’re doing, too.

    You may have to branch out for your next S.O.

    There are only so many people in Louisville. If you’re not good at long-term, you’re eventually going to exhaust the pool of eligible singles in your immediate vicinity. And don’t put a lot of stock into online dating – Tinder and OKCupid are just as full of people you know as your local hangout is. Dating services are bound to match you with those who you’ve already dated or rejected. You’re going to have to outsource to one of the surrounding counties or –gasp- Southern Indiana. I hope you like farm boys.

    Don’t get me wrong; Louisville is pretty friendly toward the single ones among us. All I’m saying is that it sucks when there are people who make you want to stay on the couch for the next year in order to avoid them. Maybe we should all remember that the next time we feel the need to dump someone over something stupid.

    Photo courtesy: Shutterstock

    Michelle Eigenheer's picture

    About Michelle Eigenheer

    A Louisville transplant beginning to appreciate all the city's small things.

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