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    So, while Louisville is too late to get into the bidding pool as the destination for the next two winter Olympic Games—2026 is still wide open. In the meantime, here are some sports at which Louisvillians would truly excel.

    Pothole Slaloms

    Get in car. Drive the expanse of I-64. Navigate innumerable potholes without tapping other drivers.

    Spotter (shotgun passenger) optional.

    Pairs Griping

    Greet partner at the water-cooler with a sigh. Proceed to complain about the freezing temperatures.

    Technical points awarded for length of the grumbling session, use of appropriate frustrated gestures and nonverbals, and inclusion of the phrase, “Well, you won’t hear me complaining about a scorching summer this year.”

    Bourbon Biathlon

    Take a shot of bourbon. Take another.

    Snowmageddon Grocery Dash

    Receive text notification of impending winter weather. Rush to the grocery store. Points awarded for number of milk gallons and bread loaves obtained. Timed portion begins once you hit the check-out line.

    Roundabout Road Curling

    Enter the Cherokee Triangle Roundabout. Take the first right without skidding on ice.

    Synchronized Jaywalking

    This sport is dominated by teenaged athletes who frequently train in the Bardstown Road area.

    Simply ignore the crosswalk located a mere block away. Grab the hands of your teammates and run squealing into oncoming traffic. Hopefully reach the other side

    Team uniform: Unseasonably short skirts and/or Hot Topic hoodies.

    NuLu Stiletto Skating

    Make plans in NuLu. Wear your highest heels despite the skinny sidewalks covered in snow.

    Points awarded per yard you walk independently without slipping.

    Points deducted if you fall into Market Street.

    Photography courtesy of Shutterstock 

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    Ashlie Danielle Stevens's picture

    About Ashlie Danielle Stevens

    I'm a journalist and creative nonfiction writer based in Louisville, Kentucky. My freelance work has been featured in The Guardian US, Paste Magazine, Louisville Magazine STORY Magazine, STIR Journal, Mapquest Discover, Thrillist Louisville with pieces upcoming at Salon, Mental Floss, Serious Eats and Munchies. I also spend my spare time chasing food trucks.

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