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    1.       Pick a Friday night.

    A. Sushi at Sapporo, then dashing across the street for pub trivia at The Bard’s Town

    B. Dolling up for Beards, Bouffants and Bourbon, hosted by The Filson Historical Society

    C. Gallery hopping—from Swanson Contemporary, to Zephyr, to Garner Narrative. Then stopping at DECCA to debate whether you want to curb your sweet tooth with affogato or one of their honey gelato ice-cream sandwiches.

    D. Troll Pub-ing, then catching one of the shows from the Broadway Across America series at the Kentucky Center for Arts.

    E. Hitting up DSW at the Paddock Shops (formerly know n as The Summit) followed by a late-night Starbucks Frappuccino fix.

    2.       Have a favorite music venue?

              A. Headliners

              B. The Rudyard Kipling

              C. RYE—Back Porch Sessions

              D. The Yum! Center

              E. I think Wick’s has karaoke?

    3.       Brunch time! You’ll be found where?

               A. El Camino for pineapple mimosas,cornmeal biscuits, and spicy gravy.

    B. Ermin’s Bakery and Café for glazed cinnamon rolls and coffee.

    C. Toast on Market for Monte Cristo French Toast

    D. Proof on Main for Shrimp and Grits, with cremini mushrooms, tomato, and a farm-fresh egg.

    E.  Wild Eggs—The East End location— for Eggs Bennie.  

    4.       Now, for a walk in the park.  Your favorite is?

              A. Cherokee

              B. Central

              C. Parks aren’t really my thing…

              D.  Waterfront

              E. The Parklands of Floyd’s Fork

    5.       Which word best describes your aesthetic?

                A. Quirky

                B. Classic

                C. Hip

                D. Urban

                E. Friendly

    6.     Your ideal domicile is:

              A.  Overlooking Cherokee Triangle.

              B. Complete with 90 year-old crown moldings and original hardwood.

              C. Within walking distance of Flea Off Market.

              D. Whiskey Row Lofts

              E. On a fairway, surrounded (but not too closely) by neighbors and family.

    7.     What is your greatest Louisville-centric fear?

               A.    It was actually realized when Ear X-Tacy finally closed.

              B.    The demolition of historical homes and landmarks.

              C.    Being trapped on 4th Street Live!

              D.    Being trapped in traffic by the 2nd Street Bridge

              E.     That Heine Brothers’ will eventually overtake Starbucks in Louisville.

    If you answered mostly A’s, you belong in The Highlands. Like The Highlands community, you are a little quirky, self-identify as having eclectic tastes, and have a passion for ethnic food as well as pub fare.  In your ideal world, your time would be split between downing Heine Brothers’ coffee while rearranging your record collection, and downing craft beer while attempting your latest creative venture.

    If you answered mostly B’s, you belong in Old Louisville.  Oh Old Louisvillians, how very classy you are. Yet, while you appreciate tradition, you aren’t afraid to revamp the standards for a fun time. Carry on with your swinging cocktail parties inside your decadent Late Victorian homes—but, this autumn; don’t forget to take a break from perusing the St. James Court Art Show for an Ollieburger.

    If you answered mostly C’s, you belong in NuLu. An evening well-spent for you includes locally-sourced, free-range, organic chicken, abstract expressionist art, all washed down $14 cocktail. You have tastes that are equally as off-beat as they are expensive, but most trend-setters do. And while your preferences in music, food and pastimes may leave you classified as a hipster—just know that you’re the friend who people look towards to find out when the next big (but super obscure) thing is happening.

    If you answered mostly D’s, you belong Downtown. You like options and you like them as big as The Louisville Slugger Museum Bat. Why settle for “experimental theatre” held in a friend of a friend’s basement, when you have the Ghost The Musical playing at The Kentucky Center? Why spend an evening at The Irish Rover on Frankfort Ave., when there is a string of 14  neon-flecked establishments stacked atop one another on 4th Street Live!. But with that taste for the grandiose, you also appreciate the simpler things in life that only Louisville can provide—like a Segway tour of Waterfront Park.

    If you answered mostly E’s, you belong in Middletown. Despite what Green Day says, there is nothing wrong with living in the suburbs. In fact, you appreciate the family-friendly activities that Middletown has to offer—from the 100 miles of walking trails at The Parklands, to having both Stoneybrook and Tinsletown within driving distance for entertainment, to a plethora of swim and tennis clubs—without sacrificing personal space. And while the culinary landscape may seem a little commercialized, there are actually quite a number of uniquely-Kentuckian culinary gems tucked away— The Fishery for Lenten season, anyone?

    Let us know in the comments where you belong!

    Cover photo courtesy of Why Louisville

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    Ashlie Danielle Stevens's picture

    About Ashlie Danielle Stevens

    I am a freelance food, arts and culture writer. Among other publications, my work has appeared at The Atlantic’s CityLab, Eater, Slate, Salon, The Guardian, Hyperallergic and National Geographic’s food blog, The Plate.

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