Saw a sneak preview of "Valentine's Day" the other night. Yeah, it's that movie your lady friend is dragging you to this weekend. The cast is packed with so many celebrities that I think the last names in the opening credits hit every letter of the alphabet.
I don't remember any character names, but I can try to give you a one-sentence synopsis.
Julia Roberts' niece is dating a guy who plays guitar in the nude, who is friends with the wolf from "Twilight," who dates Taylor Swift, who stands in an elevator with a giant teddy bear and Jennifer Garner, who has a thing for one of the "Grey's Anatomy" doctors, who buys flowers from Ashton Kutcher, who proposes to Jessica Alba and is best friends with George Lopez, who gets in a fender-bender with another "Grey's Anatomy" doctor, who's the Brett Favre-like client of publicist Jessica Biel, who might have a thing for Kathy Bates' employee Jamie Foxx, who is a TV reporter who wants to interview the Favre-like client of Biel and sport's agent Queen Latifah, who bosses around employee/"phone-sex performer" Anne Hathaway, who dates Hoosier Topher Grace, who meets Shirley MacLaine's husband.
Also, Julia Roberts sits on an airplane next to the guy with great hair from "The Hangover."
Still with me? I sure as hell am not. The movie is sort of like eating too much candy: guilt eventually replaces that short-term sugar high. I will say that the audience let out several collective "awwwwwwws." The guy who directed "Pretty Woman" did this flick, and I'm sure there's some message in here about love and sex and marriage.
If you make it through alive, fellas, afterwards take your date to Volare (2300 Frankfort Ave.). It sounds like the place to be. Business manager Shelley Lange expects a big crowd. "I am booked until 10 p.m. Saturday and 9 p.m. Sunday," she says. A seat at the four-sided bar is your best bet. "And that's first-come, first-serve," she says.
Bottles of wine, like always, are half-price starting at 5:30 p.m. The live music -- Sinatra standards are always a possibility -- is a draw. There's also a special Valentine's Day menu featuring Volare "menu favorites." But after seeing "Valentine's Day," I won't blame you if all you order is alcohol.