We Have So Much Room to Grow

ALI GAUTIER

I have no idea what’s going on with my life right now. And I am constantly being told by my family, like, ‘It’s OK. You’re young and you’re going to figure it out and it’s going to be fine.’ And then it’s like: You can be snuffed out all of a sudden. So it’s really gutting. Frustrating isn’t the right word, because for a lot of people, that’s kind of what we expected (with the grand-jury decision).” (The LMPD officers who shot and killed Breonna Taylor were not charged with her death.) “It’s what we’ve always felt was going to happen. I don’t necessarily call it a miscarriage of American justice because it’s exactly American justice. Justice in America isn’t for us.

 

At the beginning of the protests, I was going a lot and getting really frustrated by our government and not understanding why things are the way they are. So I took a certification. I took four classes in U.S. government over the summer so I could be more equipped — mainly so that I can argue with people better.

 

 

My roommate and I started a YouTube channel during quarantine, and I have a podcast that I started right before the pandemic really set in — ‘Funny Fat Friend’ — and I talk about movies. I just finished the Men in Black series. I love movies, but having conversations in college film classes, people would always talk about how they identified with movies. And I never felt that, and I didn’t know what that experience was because there hasn’t been a movie with someone who looks like me or has had a life like mine. So the point of the podcast is me trying to find myself in film.

 

Being poor, growing up in a small town, little Danville, Kentucky, and being Black and fat, it was like, ‘Well, then I have to be really successful and combat every idea they have about me.’ But it’s like, ‘Well, fuck their ideas. That’s the problem.’”

This is one of 26 interviews with Black women that ran in our 2020 No. 6 print issue.
Photos by Charlee Black.

 

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